The Way I Am
by Enchantable
Summary: Before Ichigo Kurosaki, before the Winter War, Lieutenant Hinamori comes to work sick. Fortunately newly appointed Captain Hitsugaya happens to be nearby and comes to take care of her. Mentions of Gin/Ran and lots of foreshadowing


**So while the Winter War continues to disappoint me I'm living in my own little fantasy world.**

**This oneshot is entirely Dwellin's fault thanks to the last two pictures she drew of Silent Force. They're amazingly beautiful and amazingly sad and so here we have a happy little HitsuHina oneshot.**

**Someone recommended this IchiRuki amv to "We are One" from the Lion King 2 and wouldn't you know, the song got stuck in my head. The lyrics have absolutely nothing to do with this but thats what I was listening to when I wrote this. **

**Spoilers for EVERYTHING are fair game. This takes place before the Winter War but its got a lot of foreshadowing. **

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Hinamori had been feeling under the weather for the past few days but she had gone to work anyway. Captain Aizen was depending on her to work. He had been so busy the past few days that she had barely seen him. He was depending on her and she couldn't let him down. Even if she would much rather stay curled up in bed she had to go to work and perform her duties. She was just glad that it was just paperwork at the moment. She didn't think she'd be much use in a fight.

Reaching upwards Hinamori plucked a tissue out of the box and blew her nose, hating the feeling of being sick. She tugged her robe a bit tighter around her body, hating the too hot, too cold feeling that was rushing through her. She had put her hair up in its usual bun but she was regretting it as a breeze played with the fine hairs at the nape of her neck, sending shivers racing down her spine. If she couldn't go to bed then Hinamori at least wished she could make the tea Granny used to make her and Hitsugaya when they were sick. It always made her feel better, if not for the tea itself then for the fact that Granny made it for her. Even Hitsugaya accepted the tea when he got sick.

Hitsugaya.

Hinamori sighed softly. Ever since she became Lieutenant of the Fifth Division she had felt them slowly drift apart. After the Shinigami Academy it had only gotten worse. She didn't know why he had been called into the Central 46, just that when he had come out of it he had been so quiet it had scared her. And then he had been named the Captain of the 10th Division shortly afterwards and it had only gotten worse. Normally she didn't think about it that much. Being a Lieutenant was hard work and during the daytime she usually had a thousand things to do. It was really only when work was this slow, when Captain Aizen was out of the office, that she wondered what Hitsugaya was up to.

Hinamori felt her nose start running and grabbed a tissue. Shoving the ill feelings aside she blinked her eyes and continued to focus on the papers in front of her. It wouldn't do her any good to be worrying about things she couldn't change. It was probably just because she was feeling sick and if she was trying to ignore that she should ignore all te things that came with feeling sick. Like feeling vulnerable. Hinamori bent down and reached for the stamp for her Division to place the seal on the latest stack of finished documents. Rifling through her desk drawer she finally located it tucked in a corner and straitened up only to realize that she was not alone in the room anymore.

"Captain A--Hitsugaya!" she gasped, surprised.

For a moment she had thought that it was Captain Aizen but standing in the doorway was Hitsugaya. The white haired Captain shifted, obviously not thrilled with her name calling but stepped into the Division fully anyway. Belatedly Hinamori realized it must have been afternoon. Hitsugaya usually didn't lift his head from paperwork until the afternoon when he would take a nap. Hinamori knew he believed that sleep would make him look older. He believed his Division didn't like the fact that he was a kid, even if he was a 'boy genius' and approached the task of appearing older with as much diligence as he did doing the paperwork for his Division or protecting Soul Society. Sometimes when he had a moment he would come and visit her as well, though those visits were not that frequent. Especially not when it got busy like it was at the moment.

"You don't look so good," Hitsugaya said bluntly coming over to her, "are you feeling okay?"

"I'm, ah, I'm fine," she said with a smile, "really."

Hitsugaya's eyes narrowed at the blatant lie. He could see that Hinamori had dragged the waste bin over to her desk so her tissues didn't get on the paperwork. He could see that the hand that didn't hold the stamp was locked around her robe, pulling the folds tighter together in an effort to contain her body heat. Her face was flushed as well and despite the smile she put on her lips for him he could see how uncomfortable she was. Still she was pushing herself. He knew Captain Aizen was off on a mission and Hinamori was pushing herself for the Captain but that didn't mean he had to like it. Nor did it mean that it had to make any kind of sense.

"You're sick," he said reaching out and pressing the back of his hand to her forehead.

Hinamori shivered at the cool touch of Hitsugaya's hand. The 10th Division Captain's eyes narrowed slightly at the response his touch gave her. His hands were usually cool, something he dismissed as a side effect of Hyorinmaru despite Matsumoto's insistence that it was poor blood circulation and that the cure was 'Health Land'. Even with cool hands he could feel the warmth radiating off Hinamori's forehead. Not only did she have a cold but she clearly also had a fever. He felt his frown deepen as he withdrew his hand and saw her shiver even more before she sneezed, groping for a tissue. She was sick and she shouldn't be at work. What if the Fifth got called for fighting? If she was in the office people would think she was well and if they thought that they'd send her to fight and if she fought she would---he cut himself off. The Fifth hadn't been called for fighting. She was just sick.

"You shouldn't be at work," he said bluntly.

"Hitsugaya!" she gasped before suddenly coughing into her hand.

That made up Hitsugaya's mind. If she was going to protest then he'd carry her to the next available bed if he had to. He knew Captain Aizen would not want her to make herself sick. He also knew that unless Hinamori heard it from her beloved Captain himself, she wouldn't believe the words. He didn't like how much she was beginning to depend on her Captain. Especially since he knew that Hinamori had always had a bad case of hero worship when it came to Captain Aizen. He imagined he found it rather odd because of his relationship with Matsumoto. Though she never really cared that he was the 'boy genius' and that her Captain was a fraction of her age, the woman was very independent. Oh he trusted her beyond a shadow of a doubt even though she never did any paperwork. After all Matsumoto had been the one to get hi to become a Shinigami. For that he would always trust her.

Even after what happened with Kusaka.

Unwillingly he felt the familiar ache in his stomach. It had been years since it happened but it still hurt. There were days when Hyorinmaru felt more like a lead weight on his back than an honor to wield. He wanted to speak to Hinamori, to tell her what happened and to beg for her advice, but every time all he could see was the ice blasting up to cover Kusaka. All he could do was struggle against the arms that restrained him even as he screamed for his friend. All he could feel was useless. Horribly and disgustingly useless. Even though she had been weaker than him, Hinamori had always defended him. She had always fought back the bullies and the nightmares and anything that troubled him. He hadn't been able to save one person.

"H-Hitsugaya?" Hinamori looked up at him, worry reflected in her chocolate eyes, "are you okay?"

"You're the one whose sick," he said, his voice coming out a bit more gruff than he meant it to.

Hinamori averted her eyes at the tone in Hitsugaya's voice, hating that he was so troubled and he still refused to let her in. Hitsugaya felt guilt surge through him. He never meant to be cold to Hinamori, especially not when she was sick. Biting back the urge to sight he walked over to her side of the desk so that they were side by side.

"Come on Momo," he said, letting her rarely used first name roll off his tongue, "you should be in bed."

"But Hitsugaya--" she began to protest but he ached an eyebrow and she sighed, trying to figure out a way to protest.

She knew Hitsugaya always felt like he had to protect her. Even if he was the older of the two he was still the stronger one. Him being a Captain and the rest of the world both discovering and telling him had only reinforced his feelings that she had to be protected. Hinamori didn't want to be a burden to him even though he never said she was--she knew he never would anyway. If all he ever did was come to her rescue, what kind of friendship was that? She didn't know but she was pretty sure it was not a pleasant one.

"I'm okay," she murmured finally. He arched an eyebrow, "I am! Hitsugaya!

she protested, feeling her cheeks heat up more in response to his piercing gaze, "I just have a cold," she muttered finally.

"And unless you wanna get worse you'd better get some rest," he said crossing his arms, "and if you're so worried about paperwork then I'll bring it Matsumoto. I've done both ours anyway."

"I thought Matsumoto didn't do paperwork," Hinamori said.

"She doesn't for _me_ but she likes you," he said, "she'll probably do it for you."

"Matsumoto likes you too," Hinamori said, "she just doesn't like paperwork," she smiled, "and neither do you. I don't think _anyone_ likes paperwork."

Hitsugaya nodded, agreeing whole heartedly with that. Knowing she was fighting a loosing battle against her white-haired friend, Hinamori looked at the stack of papers she had to stamp before looking at Hitsugaya. The Captain knew that he wasn't going to be able to refuse her anything, especially not something so simple as a request to finish stamping some documents. He also knew that if he left the changes of her independently going to get rest were slim to none.

"Fine but I'm waiting here," he said.

"You don't have to do that--I'll just be a minuet," Hinamori protested but Hitsugaya arched an eyebrow, "okay, I'll just be a minuet," she said picking up the stamp and quickly sealing the documents, "all done," she said pushing her chair back and getting to her feet.

The world swayed as she realized she had probably gotten to her feet too fast. Her hand groped for the desk but before she could fully find support a pair of strong arms wrapped around her as her head tipped forward to land on white robed shoulder. Hinamori felt her cheeks heat up as she realized she had all but fallen into Hitsugaya. The white haired Captain just looked at her with a mixture of worry and shock. If she had felt better she would have noticed the pink that stained Hitsugaya's cheeks but she was just grateful that he had saved her from adding a head injury to her already impressive list of ailments.

"S-sorry Hitsugaya," she said.

"You need to get to bed," he said, "can you move?"

"Yes, I think I just stood up too fast," she said making no move to lift her suddenly too-heavy head from his shoulder.

Hitsugaya frowned, trying to ignore the feelings of worry and embarrassment that churned together through him. Worry because Hinamori looked even more sick than before and embarrassed because he had somehow become a human pillow for her. Though she may have been taller than him he knew he could carry her if he had to. He knew Hinamori had her pride though. When she still made no move to push him away he made up his mind. Though he hadn't been in her quarters in a very long time he still knew where they were in the Fifth Division. Bending down he scooped a hand under her legs and used shunpo to carry them there before he set down her legs so that she could open the door before he guided her into her quarters. He knew Hinamori disliked the Fourth Division and didn't want to bring her there unless he had to.

Hinamori's quarters were homey in a way he knew his could never be. They were slightly messy as well, unlike his quarters which bordered on sterile. Hitsugaya brought her over to her futon and gently set her down, aware that she was still leaning on him. Since she stood up Hinamori had just felt worse. All she could feel towards Hitsugaya was immense gratitude. She must have been sicker than she thought. Before she even realized what was happening she was siting on her futon, her head still cushioned on his shoulder. As he went to help her lay down she shook her head, too tired and sick to care that he probably had a thousand things to do and she was really just being a burden to him, like always.

"Can you stay with me for a little while, Hitsugaya?" she asked.

"I'm not going anywhere Momo," he promised, "lay down okay?"

He didn't mean for her to do it on his lap.

But he didn't have the heart to move her, not when she was sick. If he was going to be her pillow then so be it. Bending backwards he snatched her blankets off her bed and pulled them over her. Hinamori gave a little sigh and shifted slightly before stilling again. Hitsugaya looked at her, happy for once that he rarely got sick. After a few uncomfortable moments he took her hair out its bun, letting the chocolate strands hang unbound around her shoulders. A quick Hell Butterfly later and a member of his Division brought him the paperwork he had yet to finish. So while Hinamori slept with her cold he finished off the work that he needed to do, not realizing that while he read through the documents his other hand combed through the strands out of her hair absentmindedly.

It was nice. Nice to be with her again even if she was asleep. He had always found an odd sort of comfort in Hinamori's presence and that had not changed even if their relationship had. He couldn't remember the last time they had simply been in each other's company when it wasn't because of errands or something. In her dreams Hinamori shifted slightly against him.

"Mm, Shiro," she murmured.

HItsugaya looked down, confirming that she was still asleep. Against popular belief, Hinamori's nickname for him was not simply because of his unusual hair color. It also had a lot to do with his first name, Toshiro. He got enough flack for being a kid, the last thing he needed was a kiddy nickname. But Hinamori had called him 'Shiro' or 'Hitsugaya' for much longer than he had been a Soul Reaper. Though he wished she'd call him 'Captain Hitsugaya' he did secretly like that even i the world was changing faster than he could handle it sometimes, she still called him by a nickname. It was as dependable as the woman herself.

He smiled faintly and brushed his fingers through her hair. He had always found it easy to show who he was under the ice around Hinamori. Any time he tried to act cool she saw right through it. It was hard sometimes to act like anything but cold, hard enough so that half the time he didn't bother. Hinamori saw through it and he had a feeling that Matsumoto saw through it as well, though neither woman would tell him outright that they did.

Hours later, after the sky had darkened and his paperwork was gone Hitsugaya remained in the Fifth Division unwilling to leave Hinamori's side. His eyelids were getting heavy. After a moment's consideration he carefully adjusted Hinamori so that she was lying on his chest as he settled next to her on the bed. She was already so sound asleep that she didn't even stir except to shift her arms slightly so that one was thrown over his chest. He wrapped his own around her shoulder and let himself drift off to sleep finally.

* * *

Matsumoto was worried about her Captain. Admittedly she had let the Division mid-afternoon and stole Gin from the Third for a few hours. But when she came back her Captain was nowhere to be seen. The paperwork on his desk suggested that he had probably gone off somewhere but she still felt concerned for him. The last thing the Division needed was more rumors running around about their 'boy genius' Captain. She had been the Acting Captain for a short time and the Lieutenant before then. She didn't mind working with Hitsugaya. She had been the one to convince him to become a Shinigami. Though she'd never tell him it had been rather cute when he had shown up the first day, trying desperately to hide his nervousness under that icy exterior of his.

She had smothered him anyway.

She had told the Division that she was fully behind Hitsugaya as their Captain, age aside, and that they'd all better fall in line or there'd be hell to pay. Part of her felt rather protective of the white haired Captain. She was also immensely grateful that he did his paperwork. She had hated doing it for her brief stint as Acting Captain. Though he grumbled he never outright complained that he had to do it.

She had finally tracked down a Division member who told her that Hitsugaya had his paperwork delivered to Lieutenant Hinamori's quarters hours ago. Matsumoto set off for Hinamori's quarters. She knew Hinamori from the Lieutenant's meeting's they shared. Though the girl was quiet and shy Matsumoto liked her. Like Hitsugaya she seemed to hide how she really was but all it really took was some careful prodding. From talking to the two of them she had a feeling they liked each other more than either would let on. It was really sweet in her opinion. Her own relationship with Gin had started out in the same general manner with neither really wanting to risk their friendship for something more. Of course they hadn't lasted nearly as long as Hitsugaya and Hinamori but Matsumoto had a feeling they wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. Unless one of them went crazy or the world ended anyway.

Arriving at the Fifth Division Lieutenant's Quarters Matsumoto raised her fist and gently knocked on the door.

"Captain?" she nudged the door open and peered inside.

Lying on the futon, snuggled in each other's embrace, was Hitsugaya and Hinamori. Matsumoto smiled at how cute they were. Hitsugaya didn't look half as grumpy or guared as he usually did and Hinamori looked even sweeter if possible. Tiptoeing over she picked up the paperwork next to them. Even if she hadn't done it she could at least make sure it got to the right people so the two of them could spend a bit more time together. Silently she snuck back out of the room and closed the door behind her.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto," Matsumoto turned to see Captain Aizen walking down the hallway towards her.

"Captain Aizen," she greeted.

"Were you checking on Hinamori? I know she's been feeling under the weather and I was worried she came into work today. I don't want her to make herself more ill because of something foolish like paperwork," he said with a smile.

"Oh she's resting," he said, "Captain Hitsugaya's taking good care of her," she said motioning to the paperwork in her arms.

"That's excellent," Captain Aizen said with an incline of his head, "they are very sweet together."

"They are," she said with a bright smile, "did your mission in the Transient World go well?"

"Not really," he said, his smile slipping a bit, "it seems that these traitors are more elusive than we thought. But we'll find them eventually."

"Well, good luck," she said.

"Thank you Lieutenant Matsumoto," he said, "I believe we'll need it."

"Hey Ran!" Gin jumped nimbly over the rail of the balcony.

"Shh!" Matsumoto scolded, "they're sleeping."

Gin arched an eyebrow and looked over at the door before looking back at her. Matsumoto glared at him as Captain Aizen smiled and walked off with an affectionate shake of her head.

"Come on," he said, "lets go back to your Division."

"In a minuet," she said tightening her grip on the papers, "I've got to make sure these get to the right place."

"You're doing work now?" he demanded.

"Yes," she said raising her chin defensively. Gin's smile widened, turning genuine, "stop being so amused," she snapped, "wait for me there, it won't take that long."

She vanished in a burst of shunpo. Gin walked over to the door and nudged it open, taking in the appearance of Hitsugaya and Hinamori curled in each other's arms. His ruby eyes opened fractionally as an idea formed in his head before he withdrew, closing the door quietly behind him.

"Hey, Captain Aizen, wait up, I've got an idea."


End file.
